Chasing that First Time High

I wrote the original version of Chasing that First Time High on November 21, 2021, in the notes app of my iPhone. I wrote it knowing it would be used in a book I was writing, and it was published as song lyrics in my novel, Bad Seed.

Here is the original version:

Ever since you penetrated my mind
I’ve been chasing that first time high
I never knew it was something I missed
Until I let you in

It started out innocent
Neither of us thought we’d up here
But I know what you look like without your clothes on
And now it’s a core memory

The bad decision maker twins
Tangled up in a web of stolen glances
Read messages and secrets kept
Always chasing that first time high

You’ve got your girls
And I’ve got my man
But we’ll always be each other’s
Second plan

I can still feel your hands gripping my hips
Your eyes staring down at my swollen lips
Bruised knees on the bathroom floor
Watching you escape out the back door

Ever since you penetrated my mind
I’ve been chasing that first time high

But now it’s like I’m a ghost
I thought I meant the most
But you just added me to your list
Another girl, easily dismissed

Stupid me to think I was your one
To make you put your tricks on the shelf for good
Here I am looking like a clown
My smile frozen in a frown

And now I’ve wrecked my life
Chasing that first time high

Bad Seed was published on October 6, 2022. Here is the slightly different version that went with the storyline better:

Ever since you penetrated my mind
I’ve been chasing that first time high
I never knew it was something I missed
Until I let you in

It started out innocent
Neither of us thought we’d end up here
But I know what you look like without your clothes on
And now it’s a core memory

The bad decision maker twins
Tangled up in a web of stolen glances
Read messages and secrets kept
Always chasing that first time high

You’ve got your girl
And I’ve got my man
But we’ll always be each other’s
Second plan

I can still feel your hands gripping my hips
Your eyes staring down at my swollen lips
Bruised knees on the living room floor
Me escaping out the back door

Ever since you penetrated my mind
I’ve been chasing that first time high

But now it’s like I’m a ghost
I thought I meant the most
But you just added me to your list
Another girl, easily dismissed

Stupid of me to think I was your one
To make you put your tricks on the shelf for good
Here I am looking like a clown
My smile frozen in a frown

And now I’ve wrecked my life
Chasing that first time high